Even as you age, it is important to keep your mind active and young.  Puzzles are a great way to do this.  Try The Hazards Word Search for a visual and mental exercise.

Think Green Tea. It’s a great anti-oxidant, which means that it helps protect against cancer, heart attack, and stroke.

Only about 20% of the green tea that you drink is absorbed by the body. If you like citrus juice of any kind, in its pure and natural form, such as pure orange juice, lime juice, grapefruit juice, etc… don’t hesitate to mix it with your green tea. The citrus juice allows increased absorption of the anti-oxidant properties of green tea by over 5x versus drinking it plain.

Caution: If you take statin type drugs for cholesterol and tri-glyceride control, do not attempt to use grapefruit juice with your green tea.  (You shouldn’t be drinking grapefruit or pineapple juice at all.)

The Importance of Counseling

Dr Eric Shapira, DDS, MA, MHA

Clinical Gerontologist

Aging Mentor Services, Inc

Montara, CA

Most of us go through life thinking that we know everything there is to know. We have heard everything that has been said to us but in reality we have only listened to about seven per cent of it. We do hear everything within earshot… just stop reading a moment and listen. Can you hear the clock in the room, the passing traffic, the noise from the TV in the other room, or the barking dog and purring cat? Whatever it is that you are hearing, you are hearing it; but most of the time not thinking of what you are hearing. The point is, at times we tend to hear things that disturb us emotionally. We also experience things in life that are traumatic, painful and heartbreaking as well. We push down things that hurt us, way down inside in order to protect our egos from the hurt …and soon we fall victim to a process called “gunny sacking,” or even post traumatic stress disorder. This is a process of taking things that we don’t choose to deal with and stuffing them. Can you imagine a burlap sack that one stuffs with these problems, like fish; leaving them there until the sack gets so full that it starts to smell and is about to tear open? At that point in our lives we may feel undue strain, emotional pressure, anger, agitation, and uneasiness about ourselves and everyone around us. These are warning signs not to be ignored. It is time for counseling.

Counseling is the process of emptying our sacks and cleaning our slates, so to speak. Counseling requires finding a trained specialist such as a gerontologist, social worker, or therapist who can help with one’s sublimated emotions. With counseling, one can eliminate stress and anxiety and potential permanent physical damage.

 Elders especially, have had a myriad of life’s experiences. Many elders do not want to uncover “old wounds,” However; we all develop mannerisms, negative habits and personalities that may be flawed to some extent by these old wounds that go unattended. Many older individuals as well as younger people, find themselves isolated because of these personality “glitches” that no one else will make them aware of in the course of their lives. These people become cloistered, alone, bitter and have no real friends to speak of that will spend quality time with them. No one wants to be around them. Counseling can help people like this to uncover his or her pain.

Counseling involves communicating: a talking together. Counseling means that we trust another enough to tell them our deepest, darkest secrets. The process happens on a weekly or bimonthly basis or whatever works for the person wanting to be counseled.

Several years ago, I was counseling a 93 year old woman, who finally admitted to someone, me, that she had killed her first husband. This was a shocker to me and something I had to process myself before I could help her. She apparently had spent two years in prison for this crime, way back when, but she killed her husband in self-defense apparently after he raped her at knife point and then threatened to kill her by gun. She grabbed the gun and did him in while wrestling for the gun. She harbored this information and guilt for over 60 years. She lived alone, in her own misery, without friends and in severe emotional pain all those years. Within the timeframe she allowed me to spend with her, she learned to forgive herself and move through the pain of it all. She finally allowed herself to have counseling because her “gunny sack” was about to split open! She wanted to live the rest of her life in peace. This example is but one instance of how counseling may work. It is not a full proof guarantee that everyone will be absolved of their sins and it sometimes takes a long time to get to the point that this elderly lady did. One has to make the choice to heal. Where there is a will, there is a way…

Counseling has changed many a life. Developing trust in another, a trained specialist, can be enough to lighten the load. It may take some time to uncover the hidden traumas but in the end one will discover things about oneself which will ease the pain of life and make the future brighter. The great philosopher, Socrates stated, “Know thyself.” I think the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the knowledge of who we are and how we think. As we are liberated from our fear and pain by counseling, our eyes will show the way clear to our souls. Happiness will be the gift we give ourselves in the end.