Aging Mentor Publications

News about A New Wrinkle…

Friday, June 19th, 2009

My new book, "A New Wrinkle: What I Learned From Older People Who Never Acted Their Age" will be out shortly

Recently, I sent the book to a colleague who gave me a very nice testimonial. Here it is:  “This is a book full of wisdom and humanity which shares a vast knowledge of medicine, love and aging. It is a pleasure to read and learn from Dr Shapira.” Dr Pamela Butler, author of  Talking to Yourself: How Cognitive Behavior Can Change Your Life.

I am grately appreciative of  Dr. Butler’s support and her willingness to write me a testimonial for my new book. I know that other’s will feel the same when they have a chance to read my book first hand.  Here’s to happy aging.

My Children… My Parents

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

iStock_000008115986XSmallThose of us who have children know that when one reaches the age of introspection, one discovers that no one has really instructed us on how to be parents. We learn by conscious and unconscious observation; through experience; through instruction (If we are lucky), and by doing. An old Native American adage states "If you give a man something to eat, he will have food for a day; but if you give a man the seeds and teach him to plant; he will have food for a lifetime." So it is with being a parent. What happens as we age for some of us? We become part of the "Sandwich Generation:" We are caught in the transition and sometimes chaos of being between our children and our parents (I'm there as we speak!).

I have an elderly mother and mother-in-law; neither of whom feels that they are elderly. However, their bodies and minds are showing signs of the aging process. At some point in the future, they may need more assistance from me and my wife than we have previously given them. What should we be aware of with respect to aging parents that will keep them on the right track while aging in a healthy manner? Firstly, when we "move-in" quickly to give aid for one reason or another, we are playing parent. The tides are reversed and as any teenager will tell you, they want to be independent. So do our parents. This is a key point. So if you are going to offer help, ask first unless the situation is an emergency and you have to intercede. Mutual respect is this important factor that brings quality, value and trust to our relationships with our aging parents. Secondly, if we find that things are changing rapidly, like memory loss, inability to handle ADL's (Activities of Daily Living), a physical illness disabling a parent; then it is time to discuss, if possible, the future. We need a plan.

What do I do and how do I do it? OK, if the time has come when a parent cannot continue living on their own we should think about their need for independence and whether they wish to stay at home or not. If they are cognitive and can make decisions, then it behooves us to assist them with some choices. We can collect information about bringing in a care giver who might work during the day or night; or a "second stringer" for an alternate shift giving us full coverage. This will enable the parent to stay at home; thus bringing them feelings of independence, dignity and self-esteem. If the parent is not able to stay at home, an assisted-living environment may be looked at; where they can have their own space with a kitchen area, bath and community room that is available to them at meal times. The more the parent is disabled, either physically or mentally, the more we need to consider increasing the care. For more advanced care, a skilled nursing facility may be necessary: a communal situation with nursing care.

It is not easy to be old. It is not for "sissies," as one of my clients has so aptly reminded me. But if our parents follow a healthy path in life through exercise, healthy diet, mental stimulation, and staying social they should reach old age in relatively good condition, with or without our assistance. We as children of aging parents need to remember that we came through our parents but are not our parents. That is, we need to nourish the relationship between us so that we maintain good communication and an accepting attitude toward our help when it is needed or warranted. My mother is sometimes too proud to let me help her. She feels it is a parent's duty to give to their children. But when I am needed most, she will ask. Sometimes I need to encourage her to ask and that is the difference between being a child of a parent and being a parent to a parent when you are the child.

We need to teach our parents during our lifetimes and not just help them when it is too late to include them in the decision making process.

Dr Eric Shapira is an aging consultant with Aging Mentor Services. He has just published a book" A New Wrinkle: What I Learned from Older People Who Never Acted their Age."

 

A New Wrinkle…..is LIVE!!!!

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

My new book, “A New Wrinkle: What I Learned from Older People Who Never Acted Their Age” is now available on the the Aging Mentor Services website, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, and iUniverse.com.

Once you buy a copy and read it, I would ask that you go back and give the book a review online so that the ratings will be boosted. I thank you in advance for buying the book. It is a great read with a lot of useful information. Please recommend it to your friends as well. Thank you and Enjoy!!!!!!

Dr Eric Shapira

A New Wrinkle Gets A New Look…

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Exciting news! Today we had a photo session for my soon to be released book, A New Wrinkle: What I Learned From Older People Who Never Acted Their Age. I’m so pleased that long-time coastside residents Jackie and Ron Thomas of Montara, CA agreed to be photographed for the cover of my new book.jr1

Spring Mountain Gallery photographers of Half Moon Bay, Michael and Deb Wong made the shoot easy and fun. Here’s a sample from today’s shoot.

A New Wrinkle shares real stories that I’ve experience about transitions and reinventing oneself. What I’ve learned is that as we age and experience significant changes, we need to reinvent ourselves in order to stay active, healthy, and to lead a productive life. -Dr. Eric Shapira