Water is the nourishment of life. We need water to keep us alive. We need water to stay hydrated. We need water to lubricate our brains and joints, make our organs functional, filter our impurities and cleanse our bodies. Water is a rare commodity that we take for granted.

We turn on the spigot and there it is, but is it? What is good to drink..tap water , bottled water, filtered water, deionized water, fluoridated water, or not at all? Bottled water contains chemicals that can cause cancer, especially if the plastic bottles sit in the sun for a while. Tap water and even spring water can have impurities and bacteria in it. Even bottled waters of all kinds have traces of bacteria in them. Bottled water in glass is much more pure but needs to be ionized to take out the heavy metals. Totally pure distilled water is alright to drink but one may not get the minerals and electrolytes that are important for our cells to innervate themselves.

Water is an enigma as a commodity. Water that is pure is rare and it is costly to buy. We have a a reverse osmosis system in our home because our tap water comes from a well in our community and may have an inordinate amount of both chemiclas that are added by the community water district and other impurities inherent in the water itself. The reverse osmosis system takes out the heavy metals that have been proven to damage brain cells over time as well as affecting our internal organs.

You may want to do your own investigating as to what kind of water you want to drink. Other factors are the economic ramifications of water, and that means investigating how the water is produced or mined and who is being exploited in the process. Some companies are known to exploit the native people whose land the water is taken from by big business not giving back to the local economy. Other companies may claim to use spring water, when it is only local tap water. So it is a good idea to know before you go. Think before you drink…..

We all need water to survive. Find out what is good for you both physically and mentally and drink until your urine is clear. Then you have had enough to drink for the moment.

Those of us who have children know that when one reaches the age of introspection, one discovers that no one has really instructed us on how to be parents.  We learn by conscious and unconscious observation; through experience; through instruction (If we are lucky), and by doing. An old Native American adage states “If you give a man something to eat, he will have food for a day; but if you give a man the seeds and teach him to plant; he will have food for a lifetime.” So it is with being a parent. What happens as we age for some of us? We become part of the “Sandwich Generation:” We are caught in the transition and sometimes chaos of being between our children and our parents (I’m there as we speak!).

I have an elderly mother and mother-in-law; neither of whom feels that they are elderly. However, their bodies and minds are showing signs of the aging process. At some point in the future, they may need more assistance from me and my wife than we have previously given them. What should we be aware of with respect to aging parents that will keep them on the right track while aging in a healthy manner? Firstly, when we “move-in” quickly to give aid for one reason or another, we are playing parent. The tides are reversed and as any teenager will tell you, they want to be independent. So do our parents. This is a key point. So if you are going to offer help, ask first unless the situation is an emergency and you have to intercede. Mutual respect is this important factor that brings quality, value and trust to our relationships with our aging parents. Secondly, if we find that things are changing rapidly, like memory loss, inability to handle ADL’s (Activities of Daily Living), a physical illness disabling a parent; then it is time to discuss, if possible, the future. We need a plan.

What do I do and how do I do it? OK, if the time has come when a parent cannot continue living on their own we should think about their need for independence and whether they wish to stay at home or not. If they are cognitive and can make decisions, then it behooves us to assist them with some choices. We can collect information about bringing in a care giver who might work during the day or night; or a “second stringer” for an alternate shift giving us full coverage. This will enable the parent to stay at home; thus bringing them feelings of independence, dignity and self-esteem. If the parent is not able to stay at home, an assisted-living environment may be looked at; where they can have their own space with a kitchen area, bath and community room that is available to them at meal times. The more the parent is disabled, either physically or mentally, the more we need to consider increasing the care. For more advanced care, a skilled nursing facility may be necessary: a communal situation with nursing care.

It is not easy to be old. It is not for “sissies,” as one of my clients has so aptly reminded me. But if our parents follow a healthy path in life through exercise, healthy diet, mental stimulation, and staying social they should reach old age in relatively good condition, with or without our assistance. We as children of aging parents need to remember that we came through our parents but are not our parents. That is, we need to nourish the relationship between us so that we maintain good communication and an accepting attitude toward our help when it is needed or warranted. My mother is sometimes too proud to let me help her. She feels it is a parent’s duty to give to their children. But when I am needed most, she will ask. Sometimes I need to encourage her to ask and that is the difference between being a child of a parent and being a parent to a parent when you are the child.

We need to teach our parents during our lifetimes and not just help them when it is too late to include them in the decision making process.

Dr Eric Shapira is an aging consultant with Aging Mentor Services. He has just published a book” A New Wrinkle: What I Learned from Older People Who Never Acted their Age.”