Find the B

Now that you’ve found the B… Find the 1

Now that you’ve found the 1… Find the 6

Now that you’ve found the 6… Find the N

Now that you’ve found the N… Find the Q

Now that you’ve found the Q…

Make two wishes…

Then refer this website on to three friends.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection,” a quote by Buddha.

I tell my clients to look in the mirror and repeat my mantra, that being-“no one can hurt me because I love myself too much.” It goes without saying that we must love ourselves, like ourselves and know ourselves before we can think about doing these things with and for another person. Love is a gift we can give unconditionally and one that makes our own hearts grow fonder and more receptive in the process. Love is kindness and respect. Love is listening without judgment… Love is tenderness and compassion. Love is empathy and humbleness. Love is belief in a higher being. Love is silence. Love is beauty in all things. Love is creation in any form. Love is knowledge. Love is touch of one person to another in a meaningful way. Love is helping and serving another less fortunate than ourselves. Love is giving your gifts away. Love is learning to be human. Love is…

A terrific book to look at is one by Jill Bolte Taylor called “My Stroke of Insight,” where she describes, as a neuro-anatomist, every nuance of her own stroke at age 34 and how she recovered from in it with eight long years of hard work. The proof is in the pudding folks, so learn each day and keep your brains sharp and strong!

Our prefrontal cortex in the brain needs to be stimulated daily. It is the learning center. Whether it is through sound, through vision or by touch, we need to give it something to “munch on,” to digest and process and then that piece of information is moved along to the Hippocampus of the brain where we store it in our memories for future use.

Our brains are like nascent children, a sponge if you will, that will soak up everything we spill in front of it whether we do it on purpose or it just happens by serendipitous experience. The brain absorbs everything…..so teach it something. How about a new language? How about a new skill? What about a new adventure? Each new piece of information makes our brains work, keeps our neurons (brain cells) young and alive; leaving us with improved memory, increased ability to solve problems and a high degree of proficiency in being regenerative should a cell die prematurely or otherwise.

Passing judgment on someone else at any age is akin to bullying. There is much in our news these days about bullying which we might see in the schools among younger people. But looking at this “fad” as a form of judgment and discrimination, it can happen at any age…. And does!

Bullying can be found in people who “envy” others; however, this is not always the rule. An inferior person may discriminate against another in order to feel more important in his or her own eyes. Bullying can be found in schools at all levels, including teachers bullying students and each other. It can be found in jobs where managers may try to suppress those bright individuals that have tapped into the insecurity of the manger and caused him or her to be threatened in some way.

In cloistered living situations, be it assisted living, or senior housing of one sort or another, bullying can be found amongst the residents who don’t feel important but because they have been judgmental all their lives, tend to take out their inequities on other’s in the form of ‘put downs,’ being off-putting, showing a superior attitude, causing harm through verbal abuse and just plain being mean to another person. Discrimination in elders in any form is what we call Elder Abuse and it is an act that can be punishable by the law in many cases.

“Discrimination due to age is one of the great tragedies of modern life. The desire to work and be useful is what makes life worth living, and to be told your efforts are not needed because you are the wrong age is a crime.”

This quote by Johnny Ball exemplifies a specific thought about working and ageism. We as a society must recognize our short-comings and work towards equality in thought, in practice and opportunity. We must educate everyone on discrimination, passing judgment and offending each other knowingly and unknowingly.  The Bible has stated, “Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you.” Let’s try and be more prudent about being human, considerate, sensitive to another person’s needs and more caring. It will make us all better people and bring us a more peaceful world.

Being alone is sometimes a good thing, but at the same time it remains a double-edged sword. We all need our alone time, whether it is on top of a mountain, fishing, gardening, reading a good book or seeing a movie. The difficulty comes when one does not go out at all or see other people socially. Being cloistered in one’s own home or apartment and never going out can have detrimental psychological effects on the psyche and mind.

People tend to get depressed a lot quicker by choosing to be alone all the time and not seeing other human beings. I remember reading about a native tribe in the South Pacific who ostracized one of their tribesmen when that person made an infraction against the law of the land within the village. The person was told to leave the tribe and never, NEVER talk to anyone within the tribe again or have any kind of contact with them. Eventually, this person died.

It goes without saying that the human touch is a basic need. It is our most intimate form of communication and a basic desire for all humans. We all need to be wanted and feel needed.

Touch allows one to express their feelings and to receive the feelings of others. Our words are an extension of our thoughts and feelings and show others our actions towards them in a verbal way including the expression of our values and habits. Without human words and touch, people’s self-esteem is lowered and they eventually get depressed and will die of loneliness. Men are especially more vulnerable and have a higher percentage of suicide than older women due to the inability of men to form longer lasting social relationships in later life. Women are basically more gregarious and I think live longer because of this fact. Be social and live a longer and happier life!

The Oxford American Desk Dictionary defines guilt as: fact of having committed a specified or implied offense. 1. Sinfulness, wrongdoing, misconduct, 2.a. Blame; responsibility; 2.b. remorse, regret, contrition, or shame. There you have it then…that little knot in your gut I spoke about. Guilt though, more commonly can be brought on by feelings of inadequacy with respect to being a care giver who does not want to let someone else take care of the patient or loved one in question. It is also brought on by the care giver feeling inadequate or “guilty” about not being there in case something were to happen to the loved one and they weren’t there to take responsibility. So in effect, it is the undoing of taking responsibility for the care of someone you charge yourself with for such duty.

Recently, I came across someone who had not had respite from taking care of her husband for over seven years!! Can you imagine the guilt she must have allowed herself to feel for even thinking that she should do something for herself…Recent research has pointed out that care givers who do not get respite from taking care of a loved one with dementia or other maladies, will have a three to four times greater probability of coming down with dementia or nervous breakdown after a time. Guilt also works wonders on lowering one’s self-esteem, allowing them to feel smaller than an ant!!

Person’s with a whole lot of guilt need to be made aware of their feelings and rationale for not allowing themselves freedom to take care of them selves from time to time. Without this freedom guilt goes into depression and depression goes into anger and continued low self-esteem. Protect yourself and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy your own life. Your loved one is not going to go away while you are out getting your hair done or shopping. They would probably want you to do this for yourself. Let it be and live!!!!

I have found that the state of happiness may emanate from pleasure. Pleasure can be found in many things. When I used to run half marathons, I knew that I was happy for several reasons: For one, I could run; secondly, I knew that endorphins in my brain would “kick-in” and tickle my pleasure center in my brain, thus making me happy, and lastly, having this chemical happiness allowed me to feel happy in return. Cause and effect here was everything. Chemicals are responsible for the state of happiness. It is not prolonged unless we continue to do whatever it is that stimulates the chemicals such as: eating your favorite chocolate pie, giving or getting a hug, or solving Sudoku puzzles when all along you thought that you couldn’t. All of these things allow one to feel happy because our brains are stimulated and producing endorphins as well as other chemicals that increase the body’s ability to feel good. The opposite happens too when we experience something not so good and we get depressed. Other chemicals work
the opposite end of the spectrum to make us depressed and we subsequently feel a whole lot of other emotions.

Those individuals who always seem happy make it happen. I am convinced of that. I know people who wake up happy because they program their dreams to give them pleasure! Funny, but it works. Being happy with oneself is a key ingredient to long life. The more we take pleasure in whom we are, what we do and what we accomplish on a daily basis, the longer we will live. Being creative around this happiness state is what this is all about. Being creative in the sense that one can do things to help other’s, find a new interest, work with ones mind and hands to create art and anything useful, or doing needle point, making quilts, cooking, helping by volunteering at the local USO, Senior Center, Adult Day Health Center, Project Read, school district, or doing any myriad of things which can impart ones’ gifts to other’s bringing happiness to oneself and to other’s as well. Feeling good about what we do in life allows one to be happy.

My motto has always been, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Showing empathy and concern for others and making our environments a better place to live brings happiness to others.

I once went to Loch Ness and visited a little pub, where
everyone there had sworn to have seen the monster. They were
all happy and filled with a sense of wonder and beer.
But finding “HappyNess” for most of us doesn’t take alcohol or a mythical creature. It takes persistence, commitment, and the belief that each day we are blessed with life is a day that brings happiness to ourselves and others; some of whom we don’t even know.

And then the greatest day of your life happens… You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony….you BECOME 21… YES! But then you turn 30…  Ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk… He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now.

What’s wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away….

So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60 …… then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday… You get into your 80′s, you HIT lunch. My grandmother won’t even buy green bananas … It’s an investment you know, and maybe a bad one. It doesn’t end there …. into the 90′s you start going backwards… I was JUST 92…

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again …. “I’m 100 and a half!”

Work gives us direction. Work gives us activity for improving ourselves. Work stimulates our minds. Work serves others. Work makes us productive members of a great whole. Work gives us value. Work can bring fun and excitement. Work is opportunity. Work is rewarding. Work staves off boredom and inactivity. If you are retired and feel bored, unfulfilled or sad, then find work that will empower you in many ways.