For most Americans, aged 65 and above, the ability to drive is a sign of independence, control and mobility. I hear people say more and more, that “she or he should not be driving.” When is the right time to take away the keys and license and who should do it?

Remember when you couldn’t wait to get a driver’s license and handed the keys to your first car when you were a teenager? Well, some of the normal changes of aging can make driving more challenging and difficult, to say the least, down right dangerous for some.

Impediments such as hearing loss, sight changes, decreased reaction time due to stroke or coronary infarcts or other age-related physical problems, memory loss and lessened manual dexterity can mean danger on the road.

Older adults should periodically assess their own driving ability, both to increase safety and to honestly judge whether they should continue driving safely behind the wheel.

Can you be honest with yourself? How do we continue to drive safely when aging sets in?

1. Take a refresher driving course.
2. When filling medications ask the pharmacist if the medicine you take will impede your ability to drive or impair your judgment.
3. Have regular eye examinations and keep your eyeglass prescriptions current.
4. Make sure the car is in good working order.
5. Keep windows and mirrors, windshields and wiper blades clean. Make sure headlights, taillights and turn signals function.
6. Have your tires regularly checked for low air pressure and excessive wear.
7. Make adaptive changes to the car to ensure safe driving, like extended mirrors or a back-up warning buzzer, wheel grips or pedal adjustments.
8. If the car is large and difficult to drive then consider trading it for a smaller one.
9. Investigate routes and take less congested roads.
10. Make sure that insurance is adequate and kept current.

OK, what if mom or dad is driving erratically and need the car banished from sight…who does it? Have the medical doctor certify that they can not drive anymore unless things improve. That way you are not the “bad guy” in the equation. The last thing anyone needs is resentment towards you by a parent who thinks you are robbing them of their independence.

Remind your parents or loved ones who are risking their lives due to their inability to drive properly that driving is a right and not a privilege. It has to be earned and if one is in poor health, it is not in their best interest to drive at the risk of harming themselves and other’s.

The Importance of Counseling

Dr Eric Shapira, DDS, MA, MHA

Clinical Gerontologist

Aging Mentor Services, Inc

Montara, CA

Most of us go through life thinking that we know everything there is to know. We have heard everything that has been said to us but in reality we have only listened to about seven per cent of it. We do hear everything within earshot… just stop reading a moment and listen. Can you hear the clock in the room, the passing traffic, the noise from the TV in the other room, or the barking dog and purring cat? Whatever it is that you are hearing, you are hearing it; but most of the time not thinking of what you are hearing. The point is, at times we tend to hear things that disturb us emotionally. We also experience things in life that are traumatic, painful and heartbreaking as well. We push down things that hurt us, way down inside in order to protect our egos from the hurt …and soon we fall victim to a process called “gunny sacking,” or even post traumatic stress disorder. This is a process of taking things that we don’t choose to deal with and stuffing them. Can you imagine a burlap sack that one stuffs with these problems, like fish; leaving them there until the sack gets so full that it starts to smell and is about to tear open? At that point in our lives we may feel undue strain, emotional pressure, anger, agitation, and uneasiness about ourselves and everyone around us. These are warning signs not to be ignored. It is time for counseling.

Counseling is the process of emptying our sacks and cleaning our slates, so to speak. Counseling requires finding a trained specialist such as a gerontologist, social worker, or therapist who can help with one’s sublimated emotions. With counseling, one can eliminate stress and anxiety and potential permanent physical damage.

 Elders especially, have had a myriad of life’s experiences. Many elders do not want to uncover “old wounds,” However; we all develop mannerisms, negative habits and personalities that may be flawed to some extent by these old wounds that go unattended. Many older individuals as well as younger people, find themselves isolated because of these personality “glitches” that no one else will make them aware of in the course of their lives. These people become cloistered, alone, bitter and have no real friends to speak of that will spend quality time with them. No one wants to be around them. Counseling can help people like this to uncover his or her pain.

Counseling involves communicating: a talking together. Counseling means that we trust another enough to tell them our deepest, darkest secrets. The process happens on a weekly or bimonthly basis or whatever works for the person wanting to be counseled.

Several years ago, I was counseling a 93 year old woman, who finally admitted to someone, me, that she had killed her first husband. This was a shocker to me and something I had to process myself before I could help her. She apparently had spent two years in prison for this crime, way back when, but she killed her husband in self-defense apparently after he raped her at knife point and then threatened to kill her by gun. She grabbed the gun and did him in while wrestling for the gun. She harbored this information and guilt for over 60 years. She lived alone, in her own misery, without friends and in severe emotional pain all those years. Within the timeframe she allowed me to spend with her, she learned to forgive herself and move through the pain of it all. She finally allowed herself to have counseling because her “gunny sack” was about to split open! She wanted to live the rest of her life in peace. This example is but one instance of how counseling may work. It is not a full proof guarantee that everyone will be absolved of their sins and it sometimes takes a long time to get to the point that this elderly lady did. One has to make the choice to heal. Where there is a will, there is a way…

Counseling has changed many a life. Developing trust in another, a trained specialist, can be enough to lighten the load. It may take some time to uncover the hidden traumas but in the end one will discover things about oneself which will ease the pain of life and make the future brighter. The great philosopher, Socrates stated, “Know thyself.” I think the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the knowledge of who we are and how we think. As we are liberated from our fear and pain by counseling, our eyes will show the way clear to our souls. Happiness will be the gift we give ourselves in the end.

Spring has sprung so get ready for good weather and in some cases hot sun. HELPFUL HINT: Be prepared to wear a hat while gardening and do not go out without your sunscreen. The incidence of skin cancer, especially melanoma, is on the rise. By keeping your skin protected you preserve your youth and lessen your chances of getting wrinkles due to dehydration of skin and decreased ability to hold moisture.

AWARENESS
April is Alcohol Awareness month. A recent study by Brandeis University has been done and reported that one out of ten elderly adults on Medicare drink more than is recommended. An article published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society has evaluated 12,413 Medicare beneficiaries and shown that of these people over 65 years or older, nine percent have engaged in unhealthy drinking-consuming more that 30 drinks per month, or drinking four or more drinks on any day. Most people may not be aware of the fact that they drink excessively and this can exacerbate existing medical problems, reduce a person’s ability to function, increase fall risk, interact negatively with medication and reduce sexual function as well as desire. Everything in moderation, even sex after 65!

AWARENESS
May is Stroke Awareness month. Be aware of unexplained symptoms such as slurring of speech, unending headaches, inability to balance properly or unexplained dizziness. Have these checked out immediately by your physician. Strokes can be prevented by having your arteries screened by non-invasive techniques such as sound Doppler techniques and even using a simple stethoscope to listen to your carotid arteries by your physician. Taking a baby aspirin daily can help your heart and your head in the case of stroke, but first check with your MD.

An elderly friend of mine sat crying on his front steps. I happened by and asked what the problem was. He said sadly, “I have a new 35 year old girlfriend who brings me untold pleasures, makes me feel young again and I long for her presence when she is not with me. I said “it sounds great, what are you so sad about?” He stated, “I forgot where she lives!”

ANTIOXIDANTS
Antioxidants are intermediaries in metabolism that help stave off cancer and other debilitating diseases. Some new advances in juices can help. New products that contain Mangosteen or Acai berries are great sources of antioxidants . Both have proven effective to fight disease. Just a shot twice daily does the job!

Enjoy life…exercise; play; read; do puzzles; love yourself; hug someone daily; and smile! Dr Eric Shapira sends you all the best .Enjoy each day!!! Remember, life is like a roll of toilet tissue: the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!