Welcome to my newsletter, ELDER TALK.

EMOTIONS:
Feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, guilt and emotional pain that are not identified, uncovered or discovered through counseling can erode the fabric of our minds and cause depression to come to the fore. Chemicals in our bodies that can help us in times of “flight or fright” situations can harm us if we let stress of any kind get to us. In times of stress, especially financial stress, people may have a tendency to become dejected, sad, stressed out, depressed and suicidal. “Disengageaphobia” as I call it, is the pulling away from society due to fear created by the economy and financial woes, or other negative stressors that may encumber us.

 Try to be aware of your feelings and subsequent actions with respect to those feelings. Make time to reflect during the day by meditating and relaxing in some way that soothes you. Exercise, pray, or take a short cat-nap. But for the most part, stay active, stay social and engaged. If you feel that you are withdrawing from society or getting depressed, then make the effort to get help through counseling of some kind or possibly consider asking your medical practitioner for a prescription that can help readjust your brain chemistry. If personal relations seem to be a problem, learn to forgive and then move on with your life, not paying rent to negativity.  Go in peace…..it keeps the blood pressure down.

MEMORY:
There are three things that happen when you get older…the first thing that happens to you is losing your memory and I can’t remember what the other two things are!!!!

SNORING…ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Let’s talk …Just about everyone snores. You should hear my dog or even my wife! Snoring can affect the quality of your sleep. Poor sleep can lead to daytime fatigue, irritability, memory deficit and increased health problems. My choices are to leave the room and sleep somewhere else, banish my partner and my dog to other parts of the house or simply put an iPod in my ears and try to sleep to music, which I do.

There are other things one can try as well. It is important to try and consider the source of the snoring. There can be deviated nasal septum’s, sleep apnea,  tongue problems with positioning, palate problems, too much food at too late an hour, too much alcohol and medications, too  much weight shoving the stomach up against the lungs and several other causes. However, whatever the cause, you can do serial problem solving to try and eliminate the snoring issue and save your marriage at the same time! First of all, try sleeping on your side. You can elevate your head with several pillows and use some smaller pillows to support your arms and shoulders. You can limit your alcohol intake and medication use such as heavy sleeping medication. Try to eat at an earlier time of the evening. Lose weight. Exercise before your bedtime. Have sex, if you can, which will keep your partner from sleeping…one hopes, at least while you’re engaged!

If you snore with your mouth closed you may have a problem with the tongue being the culprit. It will usually fall backward blocking the airway. If you choke while trying to sleep, then you might have sleep apnea. This can be a serious problem. If you snore with your mouth open then this might be a problem related to the tissues in your throat. If you snore only on your back, your snoring is probably mild and improved sleep habits and lifestyle changes may be effective cures. If you snore in all sleep positions, your snoring may be more severe and may require comprehensive sleep studies and subsequent treatment choices that are more involved. Treatment options are from surgical intervention and ultrasound treatment to lasering the palate to change the shape and/or wearing a dental type appliance. Whatever the choice you make to help solve the situation, make sure you get a good workup and diagnostic review before making your decision. Try to keep it simple if you can. A C-PAP machine for sleep apnea usually is a good way to go and it is non-invasive, but requires a sleep study before getting the OK to have one. A simple Breathe-Right nasal appliance might just be the trick. Ask your doctor if you are not sure. Sweet dreams and here’s to a snore less future.

BATHING:
Especially if you have to care for a person with Alzheimer’s disease or any other debilitating memory impaired situation can be difficult to say the least. Who knows why some people with cognitive decline may not want to bathe? He or she may be fearful of the fall risks. They may be afraid of feeling cold or hot or telling the difference. There may be fear of the water and drowning. There may be modesty issues or the inability to understand commands or directions involved in the process. So, what do you do? Firstly, prepare the bathroom in advance of going in there. Turn on the heat and get your supplies in order. Make a plan. Then simply state that it is time to “wash up” or “clean up.” Keep your conversation light, happy and friendly and talk about anything but bathing. Then take one step at a time: fill the sink with warm water and encourage a step by step procedure of hand washing. Never leave the person feeling exposed: each time a piece of clothing comes off; replace it with a clean item. Don’t leave the person alone in the bathroom. If the person wants to bathe in the tub or shower, take them in there with you without the water on at first. Show them the space. Then turn the water on slightly so they can get a feel for it. If they become agitated, then back off and try again later. It is possible that you may have to resort to a seven day bathing ritual until the person gets used to doing it. You may have to bathe one body part a day until you get the “whole enchilada,” so to speak. You can also bring the bath to the person by supplying a bath-in-a basin. This works nicely. You may have to demonstrate on yourself first and do a show and tell. This works too. Don’t forget the reward. If the person is cooperative and accepts the care…reward them with something nice: perhaps some good food, dessert, or a movie. Good luck.

HUMOR:
Feeling overworked and underpaid…here’s a little humor to cheer you up:

An older couple was sitting at a Burger King, fast food restaurant. They had a large Whopper and fries and one drink in front of them with one straw. A young man watched them with interest as the old man started eating. He took a fry and a bite of the Whopper. He stopped a minute and then had a sip of the drink. His wife watched him adoringly.

The young man came over and said I have been watching you and I would like to buy you another burger and fries since I suspect you can’t afford to buy another for yourselves. The old man said, “No thank you son. We have been married for fifty years and we share everything. After I take the next bite of this here burger and a few more fries, it’s her turn to wear the dentures!”

BE ON THE LOOK-OUT FOR MY NEW BOOK,

“A NEW WRINKLE: WHAT I LEARNED FROM OLDER PEOPLE WHO NEVER ACTED THEIR AGE.”

Keep checking my web site for information: http://www.agingmentorservices.com

Clinical Gerontologist