I have found that the state of happiness may emanate from pleasure. Pleasure can be found in many things. When I used to run half marathons, I knew that I was happy for several reasons: For one, I could run; secondly, I knew that endorphins in my brain would “kick-in” and tickle my pleasure center in my brain, thus making me happy, and lastly, having this chemical happiness allowed me to feel happy in return. Cause and effect here was everything. Chemicals are responsible for the state of happiness. It is not prolonged unless we continue to do whatever it is that stimulates the chemicals such as: eating your favorite chocolate pie, giving or getting a hug, or solving Sudoku puzzles when all along you thought that you couldn’t. All of these things allow one to feel happy because our brains are stimulated and producing endorphins as well as other chemicals that increase the body’s ability to feel good. The opposite happens too when we experience something not so good and we get depressed. Other chemicals work
the opposite end of the spectrum to make us depressed and we subsequently feel a whole lot of other emotions.

Those individuals who always seem happy make it happen. I am convinced of that. I know people who wake up happy because they program their dreams to give them pleasure! Funny, but it works. Being happy with oneself is a key ingredient to long life. The more we take pleasure in whom we are, what we do and what we accomplish on a daily basis, the longer we will live. Being creative around this happiness state is what this is all about. Being creative in the sense that one can do things to help other’s, find a new interest, work with ones mind and hands to create art and anything useful, or doing needle point, making quilts, cooking, helping by volunteering at the local USO, Senior Center, Adult Day Health Center, Project Read, school district, or doing any myriad of things which can impart ones’ gifts to other’s bringing happiness to oneself and to other’s as well. Feeling good about what we do in life allows one to be happy.

My motto has always been, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Showing empathy and concern for others and making our environments a better place to live brings happiness to others.

I once went to Loch Ness and visited a little pub, where
everyone there had sworn to have seen the monster. They were
all happy and filled with a sense of wonder and beer.
But finding “HappyNess” for most of us doesn’t take alcohol or a mythical creature. It takes persistence, commitment, and the belief that each day we are blessed with life is a day that brings happiness to ourselves and others; some of whom we don’t even know.

And then the greatest day of your life happens… You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony….you BECOME 21… YES! But then you turn 30…  Ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk… He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now.

What’s wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away….

So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60 …… then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday… You get into your 80’s, you HIT lunch. My grandmother won’t even buy green bananas … It’s an investment you know, and maybe a bad one. It doesn’t end there …. into the 90’s you start going backwards… I was JUST 92…

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again …. “I’m 100 and a half!”

We turn on the spigot and there it is, but is it? What is good to drink..tap water , bottled water, filtered water, deionized water, fluoridated water, or not at all? Bottled water contains chemicals that can cause cancer, especially if the plastic bottles sit in the sun for a while. Tap water and even spring water can have impurities and bacteria in it. Even bottled waters of all kinds have traces of bacteria in them. Bottled water in glass is much more pure but needs to be ionized to take out the heavy metals. Totally pure distilled water is alright to drink but one may not get the minerals and electrolytes that are important for our cells to innervate themselves.

Water is an enigma as a commodity. Water that is pure is rare and it is costly to buy. We have a a reverse osmosis system in our home because our tap water comes from a well in our community and may have an inordinate amount of both chemiclas that are added by the community water district and other impurities inherent in the water itself. The reverse osmosis system takes out the heavy metals that have been proven to damage brain cells over time as well as affecting our internal organs.

You may want to do your own investigating as to what kind of water you want to drink. Other factors are the economic ramifications of water, and that means investigating how the water is produced or mined and who is being exploited in the process. Some companies are known to exploit the native people whose land the water is taken from by big business not giving back to the local economy. Other companies may claim to use spring water, when it is only local tap water. So it is a good idea to know before you go. Think before you drink…..

We all need water to survive. Find out what is good for you both physically and mentally and drink until your urine is clear. Then you have had enough to drink for the moment.

1. Be prepared. That is be prepared for change and what you may need to do to adapt or change yourself.
2. Plan to work and work to plan. We all need a plan on where we need to go and how we are going to get there. As the late, great American philosopher, Yogi Bera once said, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” So, formulate your goals from your core values and make them part of your strategic life plan. Set time aside to think about what it is you want to accomplish in the next three to five years. Write these down. Then set a list of objectives on paper supporting your goals. Then develop an action plan.
3. Plan to change. Be open to change. Be ready to change your plan if necessary. Plan for retirement the same way you plan to work. Be accepting of change.
4. Know thyself. In all of your planning, get to know how you think, what you want for yourself, and why. Be accepting of yourself.
5. Learn to give your gifts away. I have always advocated that none of us know what gifts we have until we give them away. Volunteer and get out of yourself. This will help to empower you and others.
6. Challenge yourself. Work your brain and stay young. Exercise your brains. Exercise your bodies. Stay social. Stimulate and rekindle your inner child. This will enable you to continue to be curious and spontaneous. Have fun and enjoy each day. Live in the moment.
7. Forgive. Forgive yourself for not meeting the expectations of others and forgive others for putting their expectations on to you. This way you can continue to develop your sense of self, be yourself and increase your self-esteem. Forgiveness is freeing and brings on new vistas and capability for achievement and introspection.

Work gives us direction. Work gives us activity for improving ourselves. Work stimulates our minds. Work serves others. Work makes us productive members of a great whole. Work gives us value. Work can bring fun and excitement. Work is opportunity. Work is rewarding. Work staves off boredom and inactivity. If you are retired and feel bored, unfulfilled or sad, then find work that will empower you in many ways.

I feel like an Alaskan Inuit native with my long underwear, my street clothes on, my sweats on over that and a small blanket that I wrap around my shoulders. When I get warm enough, then I start unwrapping myself; somewhat like a turban being removed from around one’s head. Well, we are trying to save money by keeping the heat off and the energy bills down. So far, it has not worked too well because we find ourselves cranking up the heat to warm up the house due to the cold, wet weather we are having, but then we turn it off after the chill is gone…only to find that it is probably too late and the bill goes up anyway.

Older people have an interesting phenomenon going on and that is their pituitary glands tend to diminish in function and their inner temperature control mechanisms tend to misfire in the medulla part of the brain subsequently. We lose our ability to feel thirsty causing dehydration. We may feel cold when it is hot and not only wear lots of clothes, but turn up the heat. If we over dress, we run the risk of elevating our body temperature and then going outside into the cold, we run the risk of getting chilled when it is cold outside. Getting chilled can cause our resistance to go down leaving us vulnerable to getting sick. So we need to undress from our layering, let our bodies get used to room temperature or cool down slightly, put a jacket on to insure that we don’t get chilled when we go outside and we will be fine. If you ever watch elephant seals or any kind of seal as a matter of fact, they tend to thermoregulate. That is, they throw up a flipper or two while laying in the sun to either cool down their bodies or if it is cold, to warm up from the sun. So learn to thermoregulate yourself and you will be OK in the long-run.

Pets serve as an important adjunct to one’s sense of self and having a companion that is both obedient, friendly and can serve up unconditional love at any time it is needed or called for in time.

Pets give us an opportunity to practice our communication. We can talk to them and tell them our woes, share our feelings, give them our anger and our love, or just plain practice the way we talk all without judgment in return. With just a little coaxing we can even teach our pets tricks to amuse us and others.

What kind of pet one has is basically irrelevant, because we can relate to anyone as humans, and find something in common to allow us the feeling of comfort and satisfaction. Pets also enable us to  get exercise, especially a dog, since they need to be walked at least twice daily and who better to do it with them and for them but their master…that being you. So think about the benefits of owning a pet. Someone to love and be loved by in return, a companion for a long time to come, a friend to share activity with and have fun, and a partner to enjoy quiet time, exercise time, sleeping time, alone time and social time. [PETS= Positive Energy through Synergy]

I have an elderly mother and mother-in-law; neither of whom feels that they are elderly. However, their bodies and minds are showing signs of the aging process. At some point in the future, they may need more assistance from me and my wife than we have previously given them. What should we be aware of with respect to aging parents that will keep them on the right track while aging in a healthy manner? Firstly, when we “move-in” quickly to give aid for one reason or another, we are playing parent. The tides are reversed and as any teenager will tell you, they want to be independent. So do our parents. This is a key point. So if you are going to offer help, ask first unless the situation is an emergency and you have to intercede. Mutual respect is this important factor that brings quality, value and trust to our relationships with our aging parents. Secondly, if we find that things are changing rapidly, like memory loss, inability to handle ADL’s (Activities of Daily Living), a physical illness disabling a parent; then it is time to discuss, if possible, the future. We need a plan.

What do I do and how do I do it? OK, if the time has come when a parent cannot continue living on their own we should think about their need for independence and whether they wish to stay at home or not. If they are cognitive and can make decisions, then it behooves us to assist them with some choices. We can collect information about bringing in a care giver who might work during the day or night; or a “second stringer” for an alternate shift giving us full coverage. This will enable the parent to stay at home; thus bringing them feelings of independence, dignity and self-esteem. If the parent is not able to stay at home, an assisted-living environment may be looked at; where they can have their own space with a kitchen area, bath and community room that is available to them at meal times. The more the parent is disabled, either physically or mentally, the more we need to consider increasing the care. For more advanced care, a skilled nursing facility may be necessary: a communal situation with nursing care.

It is not easy to be old. It is not for “sissies,” as one of my clients has so aptly reminded me. But if our parents follow a healthy path in life through exercise, healthy diet, mental stimulation, and staying social they should reach old age in relatively good condition, with or without our assistance. We as children of aging parents need to remember that we came through our parents but are not our parents. That is, we need to nourish the relationship between us so that we maintain good communication and an accepting attitude toward our help when it is needed or warranted. My mother is sometimes too proud to let me help her. She feels it is a parent’s duty to give to their children. But when I am needed most, she will ask. Sometimes I need to encourage her to ask and that is the difference between being a child of a parent and being a parent to a parent when you are the child.

We need to teach our parents during our lifetimes and not just help them when it is too late to include them in the decision making process.

Dr Eric Shapira is an aging consultant with Aging Mentor Services. He has just published a book” A New Wrinkle: What I Learned from Older People Who Never Acted their Age.”

It is the news that someone in your family has been diagnosed with cancer, the BIG C we call it; and now the fear factor is working in overdrive. It’s quiet because no one knows what to say or even do at this point. Panic sets in. There are doctor’s appointments to make, medicine’s to buy, tests to take and a thousand things clouding one’s mind. All of these things happening, yet blanketed by the fear, the choked back tears, the “Why Me?” questions in a process of denial that has started to worm its way into your head. Yet there is light ahead in the form of hope.

It is called Hospice care. If recognized early enough, a condition that is life-threatening, like cancer, can be referred to hospice; which can prolong life, decrease pain and suffering for not only a patient but for their family too. Hospice involves a team approach to care and caring. Many people from different back- grounds make up this team; all with varying skill sets and from different professions:  The medical director, the nurses, home health aids, chaplain and social workers. All of whom who care for the patient, as this team approach engulfs the patient and their immediate family.

I was called upon by the Chinese government to go to China in 2008 to teach hospice to medical professionals, nurses and dental personnel within a hospital setting. There is no hospice in China amidst a burgeoning older population. There is no such thing as palliative care either. Teaching people in the medical field is supposed to be like “singing to the choir;” but in a country that has a different culture, different ideals and philosophy about life and death, it is like “pulling teeth” from a chicken. Two million people die from smoking habits each year in China. The only light they see is the smoldering embers of their ashes as they drift off in peace from lung cancer.